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Loving Yourself: Post-Breakup

I left for three months to New York for a summer job. When I got back home, I knew my three year relationship was over. I gave it my last, desperate attempt to try and make things work, but deep down I knew there was no salvaging all of the destructive behavior he had displayed throughout our relationship. He was apart of my comfort zone and I was too afraid to let go. The moment I found out he betrayed me while I was gone, my world felt like it was crashing in all around me. I had devoted all my time, energy and love into this one person, and he crushed me with no remorse. What was I supposed to do and how was I ever going to pick up the pieces?

Learning to love yourself is an on-going lesson everyone seems to learn at different points in our lives. It took my heart being broken for me to get on this path of loving myself. When in a relationship, we tend to pour everything into the other person which can often lead to putting the love we have for ourselves on the back burner. So, what do we do when that person betrays us? How do we learn to love ourselves post breakup?  God calls us to love which means He has called us to love ourselves, too! There is no love apart from God. Choosing to turn to God was my first step in loving myself.

Choosing God.

What does it mean to choose God? Instead of bottling up my emotions or trying to get through this breakup by myself, I turned to prayer, worship and the Word. I chose to pursue my relationship with God once again. Just like putting my love for myself on the back burner during my toxic relationship, I put my love for God back there as well.

Prayer – When they say there is power in prayer, they are not kidding. As soon as I surrendered my broken heart to Jesus, I started feeling and seeing change almost immediately. The sense of peace that comes through talking with our Savior, one on one, is overwhelming. Communication is needed for any healthy relationship and the same rules apply to our relationship with Christ.

Worship – Oh, I could go on and on about the power of worship. Connecting with God but also connecting with the congregation is the greatest joy. I ran towards the Truth and in turn learned how to love myself through loving and worshipping Christ. Worship is our personal time with the Lord to exalt His name above all.

The Bible – There is no true connection to our God without being connected in His word. We were given the ultimate resource to connect and get to know Jesus and in turn get to know ourselves. The wisdom, peace and power throughout the Bible has visible affects in our everyday lives once we choose God.  

Psalm 107:28-30 “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven”.

Choosing Myself.

What does it mean to choose myself? Instead of chasing worldly things and letting the negativity invade, I chose growth and to better myself in Christ. I had significantly declined emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually during my relationship. I decided to focus on changing these things and becoming a new person. We need to take care of ourselves, no matter the circumstances and especially so after heartbreak. So, I started clean eating and working out which has given great results and has positively affected my mental and emotional health as well. I surrounded myself with positivity and positive people who are encouraging me in my walk with the Lord and my journey of loving myself. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and joined a Christian organization on campus and am slowly getting involved with this as well. This is just the beginning of my journey. Choosing God has led to choosing myself and choosing life. Who knew my heartbreak would turn around and be my redemption? God knew. He always does.

In this video, Jeff and Alyssa Bethke talk openly about past breakups and how to handle them in a God honoring way. 


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